Navigating Showers as a Neurodivergent Individual

To the neuro majority, taking a shower seems like a very basic task. It is viewed as one simple step as part of a getting ready routine, and a necessary part of every day, but for some Neurodivergent people taking a shower can be very problematic and a source of great distress.

In this blog I touch on some of the difficulties that may be experienced by some Neurodivergent individuals, and some strategies to hopefully help with a more manageable routine.

Showering isn't simple for everyone

So Many Steps:

For a start, a shower is not necessarily just one task. It could be a number of different steps rolled together under the umbrella of one task. For some Neurodivergent people there are several transitions involved that can cause overwhelm such as:

• Going from being clothed to being naked

• Having to get dressed again after you’ve dried off

Sensory Issues:

There could be sensory considerations: for example,

• The water pressure on your skin could be excruciating

• The transition from being warm and dry to being cold and wet

• The scratchy feel of a towel on your skin

• The sound of the extractor fan...

You might feel completely overwhelmed and vulnerable due to all of the different sights, sounds, smells, sensations, and emotions brought up by taking a shower.

Task Initiation:

Just getting started with task of getting in the shower could be the first stumbling block. I’ve had a number of clients tell me that once they are actually in the shower they really enjoy it, but the amount of “spoons” it takes to prepare for that shower means that they might not find it a manageable task.

The Reality:

The scenarios I have listed above are just some examples of things that a Neurodivergent person might need to take into account when taking a shower. As a result of this a shower could actually be quite a traumatic experience. This is something that’s really difficult to explain to a Neurotypical person who doesn’t have to think of all of these different considerations, and who may have never had an experience like this. This can lead to a lack of understanding, and frustrations, on both sides of the issue.

Pressure to "Fit In":

There is a societal expectation that people will shower at a certain regularity, and if that expectation isn’t met, individuals might be perceived as “lazy”, “smelly”, “unclean”. But the reality for a Neurodivergent person could mean that a shower takes up so much mental physical and emotional energy that it’s not practical to shower at the same regularity as other people despite the expectation from society.

The whole concept of showering could bring around feelings of guilt, feelings of shame for not being able to do something considered by society as a normal basic human function. Yet why should individuals be forced to take part in an action that causes them actual trauma on a daily basis?

Everyone is Different:

The reality is that not everyone needs to shower at the same regularity anyway. It depends on how active you are, how sweaty etc, and there are alternative ways to keep clean which can be explored by individuals to see if there is a solution that meets their particular needs.

"It can take me 2 hours to have a shower when I factor in the time needed to mentally prepare for the shower, to go through the actual steps of having a shower, and the time needed to recover emotionally."

Shower Time Strategies:

Some adjustments that may help make showering a more positive experience include:

• Using a detachable showerhead with adjustable pressure to suit personal preferences

• Using a white noise machine or calming music to help mask bathroom sounds

• Installing dimmable lights for maximum comfort

• Buying unscented or lightly scented bath products

• Using soft cloths and towels to minimize touch sensitivity

• Using a poncho towel to minimise feeling exposed

• If a shower is just too much on a particular day, make use of dry shampoo & wet wipes

Whether you are a Neurodivergent individual trying to find the right balance for your hygiene routine, or a loved one of a Neurodivergent individual, just remember that the goal is progress, not perfection. The aim for someone who is navigating showers as a Neurodivergent individual is to find a routine that is a sustainable part of day-to-day life, which supports your overall well-being and self-esteem.

Now I must stress that every Neurodivergent person’s experience is unique to them so this may not affect everyone. But if this does resonate with you, I wonder how it feels to see, in writing, an example of a relatable experience?

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If this does sound familiar to what you experience and you’d like to talk about it, or about any other experiences, I provide a safe space where you are free to express yourself in any way that suits you.

I offer any potential clients a free 15-minute Zoom consultation so that we can get to know each other a little bit and so you have the space to think about whether you would be comfortable working with me.

Taking Care Counselling Online Booking

There’s no obligation to make a decision there and then, as I really believe it’s important that you find the right fit and environment for you for therapy.

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Let me know if there are other topics that you would like to see being discussed more openly in the Neurodivergent community.

Take care,

Rachel

https://www.takingcarecounselling.co.uk/