Reshaping Christmas: Finding Joy in a Way that Works for Every Nervous System

Christmas has always been one of my favourite times of year.

The Santa visits, the long walks to look at twinkling lights in the dark, the Christmas markets with their cosy smells and sounds, the happy bustle of shopping: every part of it filled me with excitement!

I used to book festive activities for almost every weekend in December, determined to make sure the family experienced all the magic I’d grown up loving.

But over time, I learned something important:

Not everyone experiences Christmas the way I do.

Not everyone enjoys being out in the freezing cold.

Not everyone wants to stare at bright lights.

Not everyone wants all the extra stimulation.

For some people, especially neurodivergent children and adults, the sensory world of Christmas is overwhelming.

The flashing lights, the music layered on music, the crowds, the smells, the unpredictability, the change from the familiar… it’s a lot.

Realising this wasn’t easy.

If I’m honest, I went through a period of sadness: almost a kind of grief. It felt like losing traditions I’d always taken comfort in, little threads of connection back to my own childhood and my family growing up.

But what I’ve come to understand is this:

✨ Joy doesn’t disappear when traditions change.

✨ Magic isn’t lost when you adapt.

✨ You can still have a meaningful Christmas: just in a way that honours everyone’s needs.

So now, we do Christmas differently.

🎄 We still go to experiences, but we get there early, sometimes before they even open, so we’re the first ones in, while everything is quiet and calm.

🎄We shorten the length of activities.

🎄We space out Christmas activities so there aren't competing demands all in the same day/week.

🎄We plan ahead, intentionally, instead of pushing ourselves through overwhelm.

🎄We say "no" to things

🎄And we always allow room for recovery and decompression afterwards.

We may do fewer activities, but the ones we choose are thoughtful, manageable, personal, and enjoyable for everyone.

And if there’s something I personally love that is simply too much for others in my family, I give myself permission to enjoy it alone or with people who share my sensory joy.

Because everyone deserves a Christmas that feels good: not forced, not overwhelming, not exhausting.

We haven’t lost Christmas joy. We’ve simply reshaped it so everyone can belong within it. In our home, we still get a Merry Christmas: we just do it our way.

I'd love to know what changes you've made to make your holiday season unique to you. Please feel free to comment below.

Take care,

Rachel

Neuroaffirming Therapist at Taking Care Counselling

Late-diagnosed ADHD-er, Autism parent, and counsellor, supporting Neurodivergent adults, parents and SEND families with a gentle, sensory-safe tailored approach to therapy.

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TakingCareCounselling.co.uk

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